Carter, who's your daddy? It's a Micro Adventure!
: "Mom, who's my dad?"
: "I've told you before, Carter, Havok's your daddy now."
: "That's right. You can call me Big Daddy Havok now. And so can you, Carter."
: "....no, who's my real dad? All the records I've looked at just say 'some soldiers'."
: "That's because nobody knows who your daddy is."
: "Not even you?"
: ".....no. Not even me."
: ".....I don't want to know, do I?"
: "It wasn't Gambit, I gar-on-tee!"
: "Not me. I may as well be a eunuch, it seems."
: "Not me either, I'm 100% ice, and I can't turn back."
: "But you've only been like that since after we met Annie and Carter."
: "Because I didn't
want to have to admit that if she's not Opal Tanaka and Her Giant
Pants, there's no way I could be the father."
: "Aw, poor Bobby."
: "I can't believe you chose him over me."
: "Hey, you chose
Flatscan Annie over me when you dumped me during our wedding. You're
lucky I'm not crazy, else I'd have tried to kill you both."
: "You did try to kill us both."
: "Eh, you're still here, so I can't have been trying very hard."
: "So who's my daddy?"
: "I heard that it was Magneto."
: "Me? And a flatscan? Surely you're joking. It's probably Wolverine. He's just about everyone's father."
: "Kid doesn't look like one of mine. No muttonchops, see?"
: "Those are genetic?"
: "I read online that it was Exodus. Because we have similar powers."
: "This better not be true. The Acolyte Code forbids it."
>: "You did not wake me from my
centuries-long sleep until years after the freak-child was born, Lord
Magneto. It's not just unlikely, it's impossible."
: "But what about the similar powers?"
>: "What about them? Cable, Stryfe and X-Man all have the same powers, maybe one of them is the father. I know I'm not."
: "And if we've never even met you before, why are we suspects? What's wrong with your memory?"
: "I drink. Lots."
: "That's why we love you."
: "Cable, Stryfe and X-Man? Could one of them by my daddy?"
: "I don't remember any of them. For whatever that's worth."
: "Not me."
: "If you're not Threnody, Psylocke, or Cable's mom, I probably never slept with you."
: "Shut up about my mother!"
: "Hey, I knew your mother. In the Biblical sense of the word."
: "Shut up!"
: "If you were my son, by now I'd have gone back in time, and beaten you up when you were a baby."
: "Stryfe, why you always gotta be so complicated?"
: "Hey, it's who I am. Do I complain about you and your big guns?"
: "Could it be someone from that new Brotherhood we met?"
: "No."
: "I eat babies, not make them."
: "Not me. Not Tom or Mammomax either."
: "Mammomax. Heh."
: "You X-Men got any other deadbeat dads we can question?"
: "Colossus like little girls! You too old!"
: "As the most
powerful telepath on Earth, you will believe me when I say it wasn't
me, we've never met before, and you have no memory of me."
: "Dammit! You got me! I confess! I'm a Skrull!"
: "That's not what we were asking you about. Are you Carter's dad?"
: "The who with the what now?"
: "A Skrull? And I was sure that was Wolverine. It looked just like him."
: "What? That wasn't Wolverine? Are you sure?"
: "Won't anybody be my real dad?"
: "No."
: "It was..."
: "...not us,..."
: "...we were in jail."
: "And now I'm dead..."
: "...because you're just a head."
: "See? He's not me. Got it yet?"
: ".....no."
: "Idiots!"
: "I guess I just don't have a real dad."
: "Is there no-one left who it could be?"
: "If you just had a better memory, we wouldn't be having these problems."
: *cries*
: "Aw, don't cry. I'm the daddy now."
: "Hey, Carter....Havok's not your daddy, I am!"
: "No!"
: *cries*
: "It was Mojo? Seriously? How can you not remember that?"
: "I drink to forget."
: "She forgot me? Why, I've never been so insulted! This week, anyway."
: "You're really my daddy?"
: "It's true! And I'm taking you home to Mojoworld!"
: "No! I won't let you!"
: "As premeditative as it sounds, I'm going to have to kill him."
: "Stop talking like that. Please."
: "But they loved it back in Mutant-X."
: "No they didn't. That's why you got cancelled."
: "And I thought we got cancelled because I didn't destroy the Moon often enough, or take my shirt off enough."
: "Can you idiots get this over with? We've got to get ready for The House of M."
: "House of what?"
: "House of M. It's this year's..."
: "No! Don't say that word!"
: "...crossover."
: "No! Do you have any idea what you've done?"
: "Crossover? At last! It's Evil-Havok-o'clock!"
: "Aw, crap."
: "I'LL KILL YOU, CYCLOPS!!!!"
: "....he's going to be like this for months now."
: "ROAR! EVIL 'CAUSE I WANNA BE! I'LL KILL YOU, CYCLOPS!!!!"
----to be continued----
The above is a parody. All characters ™ © Marvel Comics.
All micros property of their respective designers - if you want to be credited, e-mail microadv (at-sign) graffiti.net.