Superman in “The Magnetic Telescope”

Superman meets another fancy sci-fi concept.

We get a standard opening and then we’re into it. A scientist is using his magic observatory to pluck comets from the sky and pull them closer to Earth for study (it is, of course, ridiculous that the Magnetic Telescope would be able to pull comets from so far away to Earth in a matter of seconds, but what’re ya gonna do?). It goes wrong and the first comet crashes into the city, so the scientist is told to knock it off. Knock it off, he does not. To this scientist, the benefits of his experiments are more important than any potential risks, including any human lives lost. He’s a rogue scientist with a comet addiction and they can’t stop him. In fact, the cops don’t much help the situation, smashing up the machinery so the scientist loses control and now the comet is heading straight for the city.

Lois calls in the story and Clark goes to help (taking the opportunity to change in a cab this time) and before we know it, Superman is trying to bash that comet away. But Superman fails. Twice. A lot of destructing rains down on Metropolis in this one and if we pretend they were going for any kind of realism, people would have died here. It’s only when Clark gives up on the brute force that he wins, by getting the Magnetic Telescope working again that he and Lois are able to send that hunk of evil outer space back where it belongs. Lois accidentally kisses Clark, thinking he’s Superman and we’re out.

Lasers, robots, T-Rexes, and fancy cars, and now this magnetic telescope. The threats Superman face in these cartoons are right on the cutting edge of sci-fi technologies. A common complaint I’ve seen about Golden Age Superman comics is that they focus too much on gangsters and not enough on more fantastical stuff. Well these shorts have been consistently science fiction and I like it. We have some exceptions I recall coming up, but at this point the groundwork is laid that Superman is a sci-fi guy.

The image of Superman flying up into the sky to stop a threat coming down and failing is one that will recur throughout time. Most notably in Panic In The Sky, an episode of the 50s show that has been essentially remade multiple times in later shows and which, PDR thinks, deserves a Wikipedia page of its own instead of just a redirect to the list of episodes of Adventures of Superman. But whatever. We’re just lucky that Superman here was able to get back up and deal with the comet instead of getting amnesia or anything.

A bald scientist who thinks he knows better than the authorities and will put the world at risk to get his own way is also a thing that would recur in Superman, but this unnamed guy is a professor and Lex would never bother with that.

Some Deadpool-Affiliated AU Rocket Racer

Of all the Rocket Racers in the Marvel Multiverse, this is one:

This is all that we get of this guy. In this story the main Marvel Universe Deadpool is speaking about what he might be like in other alternate timelines where he made different life choices. In this case he wonders what would have happened if he was not driven by money, but was instead a superhero idol. While to regular Deadpool this is a hypothetical, he doesn’t mention any of the details we’re seeing (Black Cat, the symbiote, Bob himself), so one has to assume this is a glimpse into a distant corner of the Multiverse we’re seeing because it matches Deadpool’s wonderings.

So we have a single-page glimpse of that universe and in that single page glimpse, Rocket Racer is hanging out in the background. It ain’t much to go on, is it? Well, allow me to go on about it a lot.

First of all, what is Bob doing here? The main action is Deadpool and Black Cat fighting Modok and his AIM henchmen while Spider-Man follows like a fanboy of Deadpool. Fair enough. But then there’s three people who are loser criminals in the Marvel Universe, Rocket Racer, the Big Wheel (mostly covered by word balloons), and the Clown. The Clown is visibly fighting AIM, so he’s on Deadpool’s side. The Big Wheel seems to be opposing AIM as well, in a way that could appear unintentional but I am taking as a sign that he is also alongside Deadpool. Bob is kind of just watching, but his angle suggests he is storming the AIM goons alongside the Big Wheel. Pretty clearly, Deadpool has led these guys to this fight. In this universe he is a hero and this is his team. These guys are crimefighters here.

It’s notable that Bob here seems to just be hanging from the wall like a weirdo, his feet on a strange piece of some-thing-or-other that happens to be affixed there. But that is obviously supposed to be some kind of rocket skateboard that has been miscoloured and now blends into the wall.

Our regular Bob in the Marvel Universe has a history with the Big Wheel, who only came into being because of Bob. I have apparently not done a post about him yet, but I will. Bob has also had minimal revealed connections with Deadpool, and even the one we do know of is of dubious canonicity. It’s kind of a surprise to me that Bob’s not known to have crossed paths with Deadpool. He’s the exact kind of character a Deadpool writer would misuse to take cheap shots at, and Deadpool had a team called the Mercs For Money on which Bob would have definitely fit in.

In fact, I’ll say right now: if Marvel wants a new Mercs For Money book, let me at it! It’s a more likely place for Rocket Racer to find an audience than most of my other ideas.

Who Decided To Domesticate Cows

On the forty-ninth Wednesday in the Bronze Age, a wondrous thing happened. Five lettuces fit into a box designed to hold only three lettuces. This miracle happened on Farmer OldDonald’s Farm. Farmer OldDonald didn’t think it was such a big deal. “I just stuck five of them in there,” he said. But people loved it. […]