Evil-Havok Attacks? It's a Micro Adventure!

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: "Previously, in A Micro Adventure:"

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: "Mom, who's my dad?"

: "I'm the daddy now."

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: "Pig in the Symbiote, baby!"

: "......I still don't get it, but I still wanna kill it."

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: "Can you idiots get this over with? We've got to get ready for The House of M."

: "House of what?"

: "House of M. It's this year's..."

: "No! Don't say that word!"

: "...crossover."

: "No! Do you have any idea what you've done?"

: "Crossover? At last! It's Evil-Havok-o'clock!"

: "Aw, crap."

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: "Keep rollin' rollin' rollin'!"

: "Ah shoah wish ah could afford a car like that."


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: "I'LL KILL YOU, CYCLOPS!!!!"

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: "So you're really getting married, Luke?"

: "Yeah."

: "I can't believe you're doing this to me!"

: "....what?"

: "Whatever happened to us being hetero-life-partners, Luke?"

: "Dammit, Danny, I'm a man! I have needs!"

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: "He's plasma-blasted a hole in the space/time continuum!"

: "And escaped into an alternate reality!"

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: "And now....April Fool Sucka that you are, you're not getting any more Evil-Havok today."

: "Gambit be back in de spotlight, where he belong, I gar-on-tee."

: "So is this Micro Decimation, or what?"

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: "Gambit, he cannot believe they gon' make Mystique an X-Man!"

: "Get used to it, I'm not going anywhere."

: "I could arrest you, you know. I am a cop."

: "But Mystique's mah momma! You leave her alone!"

: "I'm afraid that we're stuck with her now that the team voted to keep her around."

: "I warned you that's what you get when you live in a democracy."

: "So stop complaining about it, bub. We all voted to keep her around."

: "All of you?"

: "Yeah, we all voted for her."


: "As did my team!"


: "And all of my team."


: "See?"

: ".......Gambit, he not remember votin' for dat."

: "Would y'all just let it go already?"

: "But she be a killer, I gar-on-tee. She killed Moira!"

: "Actually, her death was as much a result of our own negligence and idiocy."

: "Well, that's got to be a first for you."

: "Yes, it's certainly the first such failure any of you have any memories of, isn't it? And yes, we've all forgiven Mystique for being an evil murderous psychotic terrorist, because...uh...we're nice like that."

: "Yeah, Remy, y'all bettah get used t'the idea of mah momma bein' around from now on."

: "Rogue, I'd like to introduce you to a friend of mine, he'd be much better suited for you than Gambit."

: "......what? Gambit not believe he hearin' dat!"

: "Hi, everybody!"

: "Hi, Mammomax!"

: "Hi, Mammomax!"

: "Hi, Mammomax!"

: "........wait. Mammomax? Mammomax gon' be betta for my Roguey how? Nobody betta than Gambit!"

: "Show them, Mammomax."



: "........."

: "Wow. Ah'm sold on that. Gambit, y'all sorry self is dumped!"

: "Bishop, chere, you gotta help Gambit, I gar-on-tee."

: "No, I don't. I don't even like you much."

: "Don't you break Gambit's heart too!"

: "What? Are? You? Talking? About?"

: "Gambit love you, chere!"

: "What? Why?"

: "Dis be de worst day of Gambit's life, I gar-on-tee."

: "Gambit am want team up with Colossus Ultimate?"

: "No, Gambit know you still a worthless tool, I gar-on-tee. Gambit, he t'ink he should leave de X-Men, go back to bein' a t'ief."

: "Hey, Gambit! Want to turn your life around?"

: "Yeah! Gambit, he want to win back de love of his Roguey, or de Bish, I gar-on-tee."

: "Then let me tell you how I changed my life for the better. It all started back in the '80s..."

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: "Warren, taking me to the sewers on on a date was the best idea you ever had!"

: "Believe it!"



: "Hey! Quit kicking Morlocks in our faces!"

: "What're ya gonna do about it, chump?"

: "Don't just stand there! Get him, Warren!"



*30 seconds later*

: "Well....damn."

: "You're such a loser, Warren! I'm leaving with Sabretooth, he's a real man!"

: "King of the sewer!"

: "Dammit! Now I'm all alone, and no-one can help me! Except maybe that ad I read..."

: "That's right, Warren. The Charles Apocalypse scheme can help anyone transform themselves from a puny flatscan into a supermutant, overnight."

: "Even me?"

: "Yes, even you. Don't just take my word for it, see what these men have to say!"

: "Thanks to Apocalypse, I slept through some of the worst events in human history!"

: "Apocalypse turned me from a flatscan man to superhuman supergenius!"

: "Thanks to the Apocalypse Scheme, I can walk again!"

: "I used to be a grade-A retard until I took the Apocalypse Scheme!"

: "Wow. What've I got to lose? And I might even win Candy back!"

: "And that's the best decision you'll ever make. Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life!"

*The next day*

: "Bring it on Marauders, I'm back for Round 2!"



: "Yikes! I'm outta here!"

: "Wow, what a man!"

: "Wow, Warren, you really are King of the sewers now!"

: "I sure am! I'm king of the sewer!"



: "....whoops."

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: "Gambit, he convinced it worth a try!"

: "Apocalypse can turn anyone into a strong, proud, powerful, successful mutant, Gambit! Even you!"

: "And maybe if Gambit was more anatomically incorrect, Roguey come back to Gambit. Or maybe if Gambit was Black, he have more of a chance with Bishop."

: "Apocalypse can make both of those changes possible for you!"

: "Gambit! What're y'all doin'?"

: "Don't you realise Apocalypse is evil?"

: "Evil? I am beyond 'good' and 'evil'! I simply am!"

: "Apocalypse want to help de mutants! And Gambit not joining him to do evil, Gambit join him because Gambit love the X-Men Bishop."

: "....seriously, what?"

: "Gambit, if y'all evah loved me, don't join Apocalypse!"

: "You are too late! Behold my newest Horseman!"

: "No!"

: "Bub?"

: "What?"

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The above is a parody. All characters ™ © Marvel Comics.
All micros property of their respective designers - if you want to be credited, e-mail microadv (at-sign) graffiti.net.